Naruto Drabbles Series
by kimbo-smarties
Summary: A series of drabbles that take a severe "what-if" look on the Naruto fandom. What if the Uchiha massacre never happened? What if Minato and Kushina lived? What if Sakura was Tsunade and Jiraiya's daughter? AU SasuSaku NaruHina JirTsu MinaKush KakaRin
1. Pregnant

**Title:** Pregnant

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, it wouldn't be nearly as misogynistic.

**Genre:** General, Humor

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Tsunade/Jiraiya, Kushina/Minato, Mikoto/Fugaku

**Summary:** Tsunade announces her pregnancy to her friends and mourns the temporary loss of her precious sake.

**Author's Note:** Oh God. This got started as a fever-induced brain fart gone wrong that just continued to spiral out of control for the next several months. The rather uncleverly named "Naruto Drabble Series" got started on deviantART way back on June 25, 2008- back when I still considered _Twilight_ as "literature". I have since seen the light, and improved my writing exponentially, so please, don't fault me for some old, sucky writing. I'd love to go back and improve all of the drabbles, but I've kind of gotten away from the Naruto fandom, and, since people still seem to think they're cute, I'm going to leave them as is.

* * *

"You're what?"

"Pregnant."

"That's great, Tsunade!"

The blonde sannin glared at the woman to her left. "No, Kushina, it is not great. Do you know what this means? It means I'll be a mother at thirty-eight, I'll have to marry Jiraiya, and I can't have any sake for nine months!"

The dark haired woman to Tsunade's right scoffed. "Join the club."

"How far along are you?" Kushina asked, unfazed by her friend's outburst.

"Two months." Tsunade sighed like it was the end of the world.

"That's not so bad!" The other woman nudged her. "That means you only have seven months without sake."

This didn't seem to help.

"If it makes you feel better," she continued, "I won't drink any in front of you."

"You can't drink any anyway. You're still breastfeeding." Tsunade grumbled.

"Speaking of which," Kushina leaned over the bar to see her other lunch buddy. "Where is that cute little Sasuke?"

Mikoto smiled. "I left him with Fugaku. I'm going to go and train some with Yoshino." She patted her belly. "Gotta get rid of baby-fat."

Tsunade laid her head against the bar of Ichiraku's. "You're getting rid of fat, and I'm about to _get_ fat."

Kushina gave her a reassuring smile, rubbing her friend's shoulder. "It's not the end of the world, Tsunade."

Mikoto nodded. "Trust me, once you see that baby for the first time, you'll take back every bit of this."

Sitting up with a sigh, Tsunade gave a weak nod and looked down at her stomach. "You better be a girl. A girl would make all of this worth it."

"She could be a medic!" Kushina gushed. "And a girlfriend for my Naruto."

"Or my Sasuke. Or even Itachi; there's not that much of an age gap." Mikoto put in.

Tsunade propped herself up on her elbows. "It could be a boy."

"Nah," Kushina waved it off, "We've already got too many boys. Mikoto's got two. I've got one on the way. There's got to be a little girl in here somewhere."

"I hope you're right." Tsunade muttered before ordering, much to her disdain, a non-alcoholic beverage.


	2. Births and Firsts

**Title:** Births and Firsts

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, Gaara would have eyebrows.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Jiraiya/Tsunade, Minato/Kushina

**Summary:** Tsunade and Jiraiya's friends gather to meet their new baby, Sakura, while another, slightly older, baby has a landmark day of his own.

**Author's Note:** You gotta love pre-EMO!1! baby Sasuke. :3

* * *

"She's gorgeous!"

"She's precious!"

"She's pink."

"Hush, Minato." Kushina elbowed her husband, careful of the infant on her hip.

He ignored her. "A pink-haired, green-eyed baby born to a white-haired, black-eyed man and a blonde-haired, brown-eyed woman. How did you two manage that?"

Jiraiya leaned against Tsunade's bed. "Genetics. My mother had pink hair and green eyes. She was a dainty little thing. Like me."

Mikoto and Kushina exchanged looks, snickering.

Tsunade sighed to her husband. "Shut up before you make an even bigger idiot out of yourself."

Minato shook his head, looking between the two sannin. "With you two as parents, this poor kid doesn't stand a chance."

Tsunade glared at him. "Just because I'm still woozy from the epidural and you're the Hokage doesn't mean I won't kick your ass, Namikaze."

"Language, Tsunade." Mikoto admonished, holding her eight-month old close to her. "Sasuke's just starting to babble. Just think of how the clan elders would react if Sasuke's first word was a profanity."

Jiraiya chuckled. "I'd pay to see that."

"Have you thought of any names?" Kushina asked hurriedly, changing the subject.

Tsunade looked down at her daughter. She ran her hands over the tiny thatch of pink hair on her head. "Sakura."

Jiraiya smiled. "It's perfect."

Mikoto sat down beside Tsunade, sitting her son on her leg. "Say hello to Sakura, Sasuke."

He hesitantly looked from his mother to the newborn across from him. He stood on his mother's leg, having mastered standing and walking at an earlier age than most, and leaned in for a better look. When the baby turned her eyes to him and gurgled, the boy beamed and let out an exuberant "Sak-ra!".

His first word.


	3. Itachi Times Three

**Title:** Itachi Times Three

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, I would at least try to draw the Kyuubi so the he resembles...you know, _a fox_. I realize that there has to be some suspension of disbelief since it's a giant fox with nine huge tails, but _still_. Does he have to look so anorexic?

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** None

**Summary:** Itachi gets stuck babysitting three four-year-olds and gets to show off a little.

**Author's Note:** Ah, Itachi. How awesome you are. And how I miss you. ...*sniffle*...

* * *

"Pick me up, nee-san!"

"No, pick me up, Itachi-san!"

"No, pick me up!"

Itachi looked down at the three four-year-olds staring at him with wide, innocent eyes. He looked over at his mother for help. She only laughed.

So much for her. He thought, turning back to the children. "Who's going first?"

"Me!" Three hands shot up in the air.

"Baka! I'm going first!" Sakura yelled at Naruto.

He shook his head. "No, I'm going first."

"He's my big brother." Sasuke announced. "So I'm going first."

Itachi smirked as they began arguing. It was so amusing how four-year-olds could fight over a piggyback ride.

"Guys," Itachi said it softly, but gained their attention. "What if I told you that all of you could go first?"

"You're lying, Itachi-san!" Sakura declared. "You don't have enough arms to carry all of us!"

"Oh really?" He cocked his head, an amused smirk on his face.

She nodded confidently.

Itachi made a few quick hand symbols. Two shadow clones appeared on his sides.

The three gaped at him. "Wow!"

All three Itachis smiled, hoisting the kids onto his shoulders. "Do I have enough arms now, Sakura-chan?"


	4. Ninjas and Cake Do Not Mix

**Title:** Ninjas and Cake Do Not Mix

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, we would get to see Madara's awesome but probably scarred, horrendous, nightmare-inducing face.

**Genre:** General, Humor

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** ...I suppose only Kakashi/Rin.

**Summary:** Naruto's fifth birthday party ends a bit messier than planned..

**Author's Note:** Kiddie birthday parties hosted by Minato and Kushina! Doesn't that just sound like a disaster/awesome time waiting to happen?

* * *

"Happy birthday, Naruto!"

Five-year-old Naruto Namikaze blew out the candles of his large birthday cake. He beamed as the people around him clapped.

This was his first big birthday party and it seemed like everyone in the village was there! His parents, his best friend Sakura and her parents, his other best friend Sasuke and his mother and brother, his friends from school with their parents, Kakashi and Rin, and some other ninja that he didn't know.

"Naruto," Sakura whispered. On his other side, Sasuke leaned in so he could hear. "There are so many people here! I didn't know you knew so many people!"

Mikoto snapped a picture of the three. "So cute!"

Itachi sat next to Kakashi, sighing at his mother's enthusiasm. The two stoic ninjas had been quiet throughout the whole party. Rin had left her boyfriend's side to help Kushina hand out cake.

"Itachi-san," she questioned, holding two plates of cake in her hand, "Would you like some cake?"

He shook his head. "No, thank you."

She flicked her eyes to Kakashi. "I know you don't."

"I might." He countered, his eyes closed as if he were in a trance.

"But you don't."

"But I still might."

She growled, practically throwing the plate in his lap. "Have it, then."

He handed it back to her, his eyes crinkling from his smile. "I don't want any, thank you."

She growled again, snatching the plate up and handing it off to the first person she saw. "Here, Kurenai, have some cake."

Kakashi chuckled at her antics. Jiraiya sat down next to him, the edges of his mouth brown from the chocolate cake.

"You shouldn't make her angry. Makes your bed cold."

Kakashi blushed, thankful for his mask. "We're surrounded by five-year-olds. You shouldn't talk like that."

Jiraiya rolled his eyes, flicking cake from his fork onto Kakashi's masked face.

Scowling, Kakashi grabbed a piece of cake from Jiraiya's plate and threw it in his face.

"Daddy's got a face full of cake!" Sakura laughed, pointing at her father.

Naruto's eyes gleamed wickedly. He stuck his fingers in the icing and flicked it onto Sakura. "Now you do too!"

"Naruto!" Minato chastised.

Sakura glared. Grabbing the cake in front of her, she slung the whole thing at Naruto's head. He ducked just in time to have it land on Sasuke.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke!" She apologized quickly, her eyes wide.

Wiping the cake from his view, Sasuke threw his food at Sakura and Naruto. "That's for hitting me, and that's for making her angry!"

Sakura growled, slinging more cake at Sasuke. "I said I was sorry!"

Sasuke swatted it away at the last minute. The cake flew onto Ino's lap. She squealed and batted it away. Shikamaru laughed beside her.

"What are you laughing at?" Ino grabbed her own half-eaten cake and threw it at him.

Kushina stared at all of the cake flying with a sigh. It was too late to stop them now. "Oh, for heaven's sake, FOOD FIGHT!"


	5. A Mother's Worry

**Title:** A Mother's Worry

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, Itachi would always wear that sexy ANBU uniform.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Slight Mikoto/Fugaku

**Summary:** After Itachi gets promoted to ANBU, Mikoto drowns her worries in Tsunade-sized portions of sake.

**Author's Note:** ...I got nothing.

* * *

"Sake, please."

Tsunade looked to her visibly worried friend. "Again? What's up with you? Two cups are your limit. This is your fifth."

Mikoto sighed as the bartender sat the bottle in front of her. "Itachi made ANBU today."

"ANBU?" Kushina repeated, wide-eyed. "But he's so young!"

The Uchiha woman shrugged. "That doesn't matter. This is the only place for him. He's too good to be a regular jounin. Konoha needs his skill for more…dangerous missions." She downed the sake, filling up the glass again.

Kushina rubbed her friend's back soothingly. "Itachi's a strong ninja. He'll be fine."

"But he's just a kid!" She protested. "He's my baby and he's in ANBU!"

"Mikoto, Itachi hasn't been a baby in a long time. He might be your baby, and I'm sure he always will be, but he is a fine, capable young man who will flourish in ANBU." Tsunade said, trying to push some sense into the Uchiha's drunken brain. "Besides, you said it yourself, he's too talented to do anything else."

Kushina nodded in agreement. "Tsunade's right. Now, allow yourself one night to drown in your misery, but as soon as you wake up tomorrow, you've got to be a strong, supportive mother for Itachi."

Mikoto sighed. "You're both right." Sliding off of the barstool, she caught herself before she fell over. Tsunade and Kushina went to her sides, slinging her arms over their shoulders.

"I must be supportive of my baby in his new, highly dangerous job." She slurred, her head lobbing down to rest against her chest as her two friends carried her back to the Uchiha compound.

Fugaku met them at the gate. His eyes widened when he saw his wife. "What happened?"

"She's fine, Uchiha-san. She's just drunk." Tsunade handed Mikoto over to her husband.

"Drunk?"

Kushina smiled sadly. "Mikoto needed a night to handle Itachi's promotion her own way."


	6. Show Off

**Title:** Show Off

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, that black shorts jumpsuit that Sasuke wore would be burned in public. It would turn into ash, people would roast marshmellows, and all would be right.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** None

**Summary:** During their final Academy test, Sasuke can't resist his urge to show up Naruto and Sakura.

**Author's Note:** In this one, we learn Naruto and Sakura's last names. Since Minato and Kushina are alive, Naruto has the same last name as Minato (obviously). And since Jiraiya has no last name, I chose Sakura's name from Tsunade's clan name- Senju. And, of course, Sasuke is still an Uchiha. Name wise and personatlity wise. ;)

* * *

"Naruto Namikaze!"

With a wink and a thumbs-up to his friends, Naruto headed down to the front of the classroom.

Iruka gave him an encouraging smile. "Naruto, please produce two bushin."

Naruto nodded and made a few hand symbols. Two likenesses of him appeared from a cloud of smoke.

Iruka smiled, writing down his grade down in his grade book. "Congratulations, Naruto. You passed."

"DATTEBAYO!"

Iruka sighed at his enthusiasm, "Please sit back down now."

Naruto ran back up to the table he shared with Sakura and Sasuke. "Did you guys see that? I'm a ninja!"

"Sakura Senju!"

The only girl of the group smiled. "My turn!"

"Two bushins, please, Sakura." Iruka said once she was in front of him.

Doing the same hand symbols as Naruto, Sakura made two clones of herself.

"Congratulations, you passed."

Sakura squealed with excitement, running back up to the table.

Sasuke scoffed. "All these years of school and we pass or fail on our ability to produce bushin?"

Sakura frowned. "Since you've forgotten, Sasuke, I'll remind you that we've spent the past two weeks testing. This is just the final stage."

"Sasuke Uchiha!"

Wordlessly, Sasuke walked down to Iruka, his two bushin already following him.

Iruka frowned. "Since you seemed to have jumped the gun, your final test will be a henge jutsu."

Three Sasukes smirked. "For one or all three of us?"

Iruka rolled his eyes skyward. "Just one will do."

The two clones vanished. Sasuke made a few hand symbols; a puff of smoke covered him. When the smoke receded, Itachi Uchiha stood in the front of the room in his ANBU outfit, his Sharingan spinning furiously.

Iruka shivered. "Very good, you passed."

Smirking, Itachi turned back into Sasuke. Sakura stuck out her tongue at him as he sat back down next to her.

"Show off."


	7. Help

**Title:** Help

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, ItaSaku would be canon, babes.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** Itachi seeks the help of Sasuke and Sakura, and offers them a life-changing opportunity.

**Author's Note:** Ah, the begining of a story arc and, le gasp, PLOT. Well, somewhat. Clearly, there's been a significant time jump between this one and the previous drabbles, but, hey, this crap was never in order to start with. It's part of it's charm. XD

* * *

"So let me get this straight, your Sharingan has been bothering you for a year, and you're just now coming to me for help?"

"Hn," he grumbled.

There was a scoff from the man leaning against the doorframe.

Sakura ignored him, focusing on Itachi's deteriorating eyes. She was standing over the elder Uchiha, who was sitting on the edge of his back porch with an expression that could only be described as a pout.

"Turn your Sharingan off." She ordered. He did. She watched the change in the chakra channels in his eyes. "Turn it on, and then turn on Mangekyo after a second or two."

He did as she instructed, turning on his normal Sharingan. Sakura looked into the three tomoes, though she was seeing far passed them. He turned on the higher form of the Sharingan that he had achieved on his own.

"Now turn it all off." She said after a moment.

When his eyes were onyx again, she moved back, jotting down some notes in the notebook sitting beside him.

"You need to leave it off more." She diagnosed. "Prolonged use of it is killing the chakra channels in your eyes. Especially when you use Mangekyo." Sticking the pencil behind her ear, she moved back in front of him. "I can heal it for now, but every mission you use Mangekyo, I'll need to heal them again."

He nodded and closed his eyes as she began to work.

Sasuke watched from the door. He was thankful that his girlfriend was the best medic in the shinobi world, second only to her mother, so that she could stop his brother from going blind.

Only recently, Itachi began complaining about his eyesight. Sasuke had joked that he was just getting old. When his brother actually walked into Sakura's office at the hospital looking for her help, he knew that it was serious. Itachi Uchiha hated hospitals.

Which was why they all were at the Uchiha compound. Sakura was well aware of Itachi's feelings of hospitals, everyone close to him was, so, to have him relaxed for the exam, she offered to do it at his home.

"You don't have to stay and watch, Sasuke." She said it softly since she was right in front of Itachi. The last thing Konoha needed was its best ninja going deaf on top of being blind, and all because of her big mouth.

He shrugged. "Hn."

"It's going to take a while. But that's not my fault; somebody waited until they were half-blind before saying anything."

Itachi ignored her remark. "How long is 'a while'?"

"Maybe an hour. I have to go slow since it's your eyes I'm working on. They're very delicate muscles, so I can't put too much chakra in at one time." She explained. Her face twisted into a smirk. "Why, you got a hot date?"

"Do I? No. But if you're talking to Father, yes."

Sakura laughed. "I can't believe you haven't wiggled your way out of that yet."

Itachi pursed his lips, saying nothing. This was an annoying subject for him; he shouldn't have even brought it up.

It was widely known- well, widely to Itachi, in all actuality only the Uchiha clan and his close friends knew- that Fugaku was ready to turn the clan over to his twenty-five year old son. But, the only way to do that was if Itachi was married or was in the process of getting married. Which he was not.

Itachi was no stranger of women, far from it. He was quite the ladies' man. Though he hadn't found a woman he deemed "acceptable" enough to marry. That, and being swamped by missions all the time had kind of killed his ability to have a long-lasting relationship.

For weeks now, he'd been trying to come up with a way to get out of getting married, but so far, he'd gotten nothing. And the fact that he didn't have a plan annoyed him more than the prospect of getting married did.

"Why don't you just find someone and pretend like you're going to marry her long enough to inherit the clan, and then break up with her?" Sakura posed.

Itachi's eyes flicked open. Sakura's hands moved away as he swayed from the sudden bit of vertigo.

"You shouldn't have done that." She chastised. "Adjusting to the difference will make you dizzy enough, popping your eyes open like that isn't helping."

He ignored her, instead staring at her with wide eyes. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Of what?"

"What you said, that idea."

"About pretending to get married?"

He nodded. "Sakura, will you marry me?"

Sasuke, who had been quiet throughout this whole conversation, suddenly jumped up, enthralled in what they were saying. "Go find your own woman. That one's taken."

Sakura thought his possessive side was cute.

Itachi frowned. "I know no other woman who I would trust enough to do this."

Sakura sighed. "Itachi, were I not dating Sasuke, I'd help you out no problem. But as it is, every one in your clan knows about Sasuke and me. There's no way anyone would actually believe that I'd leave Sasuke for his brother."

Sasuke grunted in agreement.

Itachi sighed. "You are right."

"I'm sure there's someone else that would be willing to help you out." Sakura said, trying to be the voice of optimism. "If not, you could always grab one of your fangirls."

Both Uchihas shivered at the word.

Sakura grabbed Itachi's temples, moving him back in front of her. Green healing chakra gathered back into her fingertips. "Think on it while I finish up."

There was a long, silent pause. "I could just turn the clan over to Sasuke." Itachi said after a moment.

Sakura faltered slightly, but she caught herself before she sent chakra to a very wrong spot in his eye.

Sasuke scoffed again, moving from the door to the porch. He leaned back against a beam, slinging one leg over the edge. "Like Father would allow that. He's been grooming you for head of the clan since you were a baby."

"You could do it just as easily as I could. Besides, since the clan is mine to inherit, I can do with it what I wish. If I wish to make you the head, it will be done."

Sakura pulled her fingers away, looking between the two of them. Both had their eyes close, a looked of passive indifference on their handsome faces despite the serious conversation.

"Don't start talking about it like you're actually going to do it, Itachi." She exclaimed.

Sasuke cracked one eye open. "You're serious about this?"

Itachi's right shoulder moved up and down in a short, quick motion. "If I cannot find a wife, it seems to be the only option."

Sasuke sat up, "And what if I don't want the clan?"

Itachi exhaled through his nose quickly, a small smirk gracing his lips. "Who would not want to be the head of such a successful clan as ours?"

"Apparently you!" Sakura exclaimed. "Look, I'll reconsider pretending for you if you'll stop this nonsense talk."

He shook his head. "No, asking you to do that was foolish. You have a reputation to uphold."

"Reputation be damned!" She yelled.

"And brother," Sasuke jumped in, the wheels in his mind spinning on turbo, "giving me the clan would have to make me get married."

Sakura paused. She met Sasuke's eyes, a tinge of a blush on both of their cheeks.

Itachi looked between them slowly. "Will that be a problem?"

Sasuke raised a brow, still looking at Sakura. "Will it?"

Recoiling, Sakura placed her arms akimbo. "Oh no you don't. This is Uchiha family business," turning around, she pointed to her clan crest on her back. "Do I have a fan on my back? No, I don't, so it's not my problem. Don't drag me into this. I'm just here to fix his eyes."

Itachi fought the urge to roll said eyes. "Sakura, whether you like this or not, you're a part of this. If I do give the clan to Sasuke, he'd marry you, so you'd be the matriarch of the clan."

Sakura shook her head, waving her hands in front of her face. "Wait, wait, wait. One thing at a time. First of all, are you serious about turning the clan over to Sasuke?"

Itachi looked over at his brother. "If he'll take it."

Sasuke fell back against the brace pole, running a hand through his hair. "Let's give it a week." He muttered after a pregnant pause. "If everybody still feels the same one week from today, I'll take over the clan."


	8. Wedding Bells?

**Title:** Wedding Bells?

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, it's theme song would be the epically epic "Double Rainbow Song". Youtube it. Seriously, it's worth it.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** In the follow-up to "Help", Sasuke and Sakura petition Minato to marry them so Sasuke can inherit the clan.

**Author's Note:** One of several in my little Uchiha family dramaz story arc, but with the added bonus of Minato! :3

* * *

"You want me to what?"

Sakura held her head high as she looked at Minato, her hand gripped tightly in Sasuke's. "We need for you to marry us right now."

He looked between the two of them, leaning back in his chair. "Okay, somebody spill. There's got to be a hell of a story behind this."

Sakura sighed and started filling the Hokage in on how she and Sasuke needed to get married straight away.

"And so, needless to say, Fugaku wasn't pleased when we told him. He gave us a week to get married or else he was turning the clan over to a branch member. And since a week is definitely not enough time to throw a big wedding, we thought that we could legally get married now and then have a big fancy wedding later. So here we are."

Minato stared, blinking several times as he tried to comprehend what she'd breathed out in one big gush.

"Does sensei know that his little "sweetie" is getting married?" He asked her, a blonde eyebrow rose in questioning.

She bit her lip.

Minato growled, letting his head slam onto his desk. "He'll kill all three of us."

"He doesn't have to know!" She said quickly.

Minato lifted his head, incredulous shock written all over his face. "Do I look like I have a death wish?"

"Listen, Minato-san," she walked over, leaning down on the other end of his desk. "You can marry Sasuke and me now, we'll show the license to Fugaku and Sasuke can take over the Uchiha clan. After that, we can just pretend that the big fancy wedding we'll throw later is the real thing."

"And when Fugaku tells Mikoto, and Mikoto calls my wife and your mother to go drinking, and tells them, and Tsunade tells Jiraiya, and Jiraiya comes up here and kills me? Where will I be? In the cemetery, that's where. Absolutely not!"

"Come on!" Sakura whined.

"Not until you tell Jiraiya and Tsunade."

Sakura hung her head. "What is it with you Namikazes and your annoying morality."

"Kiddo, this isn't morals, this is primal survival instincts kicking in."


	9. The Clan

**Title:** The Clan

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, Kushina would get a haircut. I'm all for long hair, but you're taking it a bit far there, Crystal Gayle.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** Sasuke, much to his father's displeasure and his mother's excitement, becomes the inheritor of the Uchiha clan.

**Author's Note:** I love Mikoto in this. She's like mom-on-speed. She's got the my-baby-just-got-married-high! :D And, one hundred and eighty degrees from his wife, there's Fugaku. He's so thrilled. (Note the sarcasm.)

* * *

"Here." Sakura handed a visibly annoyed Fugaku a rolled up parchment. "The marriage license of Sakura Senju and Sasuke Uchiha as preformed by the Hokage Minato Namikaze and witnessed by Tsunade Senju and Jiraiya."

Fugaku read over the document, his frown growing deeper with each line. Mikoto's wide eyes read along over his shoulder. Fugaku looked passed his son and new daughter-in-law to Itachi, who was standing at the door behind them.

"And you are sure about this?"

Itachi nodded once.

Fugaku gave a defeated sigh and rolled the paper back up, handing it to Sasuke. "The clan is yours. The formal turnover will be in two weeks." Without another word, he got up and walked out of the room.

Mikoto didn't take any time before tackling Sasuke and Sakura into a large hug. "You got married! This is wonderful!" She pulled back and squeezed each of them individually.

"You know," she told Sakura, "I always thought of you as the daughter I never had, and now you are!"

Moving passed them, she stepped in front of her eldest son. "And are you happy with this? This is what you want?"

He nodded. "It is, Mother."

She beamed and hugged him too. "Then I'm happy too!"

"We've got to celebrate!" She called, addressing everyone.

"Well," Sakura jumped in, "since we didn't have time to have a big wedding, we're going to have one soon, but I couldn't see where a small get-together would hurt." Sasuke nodded in agreement, though he didn't look too thrilled at the idea of a party.

"Then come on, we've got some planning to do!" Mikoto cheered, grabbing Sakura's hand and dragging her out of the room.


	10. Best Friends

**Title:** Best Friends

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, Sakura would be the awesome HBIC that I know she has the potential to be.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Mentioned Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** Naruto reacts to the news of his two best friend's secret wedding.

**Author's Note:** This one's always been a fav. It's short but cute. :)

* * *

Sasuke knew that Naruto was angry with him when he turned down free ramen.

"I don't even know you anymore. Why should I have ramen with a stranger?" Naruto quipped, his nose high in the air.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"You're not the Sasuke I know." He continued. "Because the Sasuke I've known since we were babies would not marry Sakura without telling me or having me there."

Sasuke sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. "Naruto, this was just a legality so I could inherit the clan. The real wedding will be in a few months and you'll be there."

"Will I?" He snapped. "Who knows, maybe you'll change the date just so I'll show up the day after and miss everything!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes again. "You're blowing this way out of proportion."

"Blowing this out of proportion? My two best friends got married without me! I'm a little hurt!"

"We were kind of in a hurry, okay?" Sasuke snapped back. "Father put a time limit on us, and we were running out of time. Look, I'm sorry you're upset, but you're just going to have to get over it."

Naruto gave a growl to make the Kyuubi inside of him proud. "I'll only get over it if you make me your best man."

For the third time, Sasuke's eyes rolled. "Like I'd consider anyone else."

Naruto beamed, pulling Sasuke into a hug. "I forgive you!"

"Let. Go. Of. Me."


	11. Laughter

**Title:** Laughter

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, there would be a weekly segment where Gai and Kakashi had EPIC!Battles over anything and everything. There'd be EXTREME!Jacks. And EXTREME!Go-Fish. And EXTREME!Strip Poker. :3

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** Sasuke is exposed to Sakura and her giggly wedding-planners.

**Author's Note:** Ah, the first few stages of wedding planning. They're all still on the "OMG WEDDING!" high, and haven't been consumed by stress yet. That, and sake is involved. (Isn't it always when Tsunade's around?)

* * *

"My little girl's getting married! My little girl's already married. Damn, I've got a headache now."

Sakura rolled her eyes as her mother let go of her and poured herself another cup of sake.

"This is so much fun!" Mikoto cooed. "I love planning weddings!"

"Me too!" Kushina agreed.

"So," Mikoto grabbed a pen and a piece of paper, scooting her chair closer to Sakura's. "Maid of honor and bridesmaids?"

"Ino's already agreed to being the maid of honor, and Hinata, TenTen, Temari, and Rin have all agreed to being bridesmaids."

Mikoto nodded, scribbling furiously against the notebook. "And Sasuke's best man and groomsmen?"

"Naruto will be the best man, obviously. Groomsmen are Itachi, Neji, Shikamaru, and Kakashi." She rattled off, counting on her fingers.

Kushina suddenly burst into laughter. "Oh God, we're going to have to drag lazy Shikamaru through tuxedo sizing, rehearsals, and the actually wedding?"

A chorus of groans went through the room, followed by laughter.

Two clouds of smoke puffed into the living room of Tsunade's house, where the women were gathered. When the smoke resided, Sasuke and Naruto stared at the still laughing women.

"I wonder what we'll have to bribe him with to get him through all of this." Sakura breathed through her laughter.

Mikoto waved her hands, gaining the attention. "And we've got to hide the Icha Icha books from Kakashi to make sure he doesn't pop one out during the ceremony."

The women laughed harder, tears springing from their eyes. Sasuke and Naruto exchanged confused glances.

"What's so funny?" Naruto yelled.

Kushina held up one finger, a pausing gesture, wiping her eyes with her other hand. The laughter died down after a moment.

"What's so funny, Naruto," she said, "is the thought of Shikamaru having to be active throughout the wedding preparations and the actual ceremony."

"And," Sakura jumped in, "let's not forget the thought of Kakashi wiping out an Icha Icha book while the vows are being said."

Tsunade let out a small chuckle before downing another glass of sake.

Naruto paused, his face twisting as he imagined it. He burst out into laughter a moment later. The women laughed at him.

Sasuke sat down on the sofa next to Sakura, a little uncomfortable with all the laughing.

"Oh, come on!" She smiled at him. "Laugh! You know it's funny."

He scowled slightly. "Uchihas don't laugh."

Sakura pointed at Mikoto, "There's an Uchiha laughing." She paused, and then pointed at herself. "And here's another!" She giggled.

Sasuke dropped his head to hide the smile that went across his face.


	12. Wake Up Call

**Title:** Wake Up Call

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, Shizune would get a day off.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Slight Kushina/Minato

**Summary:** After a sleepover at Naruto's house, Sakura and Kushina come up with a wicked way to wake the oversleeping men.

**Author's Note:** This used to be my great-grandmother's preferred method of waking you up. It was better than my uncle though. He'd just set the bed on fire.

* * *

Yawning, Kushina made her way down the hall to the kitchen. When she woke, she woke to the smell of coffee, but Minato's heavy arm was slung over her. So who's up making coffee at this hour?

When she got to the kitchen, she saw a pink-haired girl rambling around, apparently looking for something.

"Morning, Sakura." She yawned again, walking to the coffee pot.

Sakura jumped, not hearing Kushina come in. "Good morning." She greeted cheerfully.

"I thought you'd still be asleep." The elder woman said as she shook two packets of sweetener into her cup.

"Well, I would have been, but Naruto kicks and Sasuke kept rolling over onto my side of the bed." The ten-year-old complained.

Kushina covered her laugh with her hand. "Yes, I've been the butt of those kicks before. When Naruto was little, whenever he'd have a nightmare or there was a loud storm out, he'd come crawl into our bed."

Sakura smiled. "I used to do that! But I grew out of it."

Kushina laughed. The clock grabbed her attention. Her eyes bugged as she saw the time on it.

"It's eleven o'clock!"

Sakura turned around and looked at the clock. "And we're the only ones up! Those lazy boys!"

A wickedly playful glint flashed in Kushina's eyes. "Hey Sakura, I've got an idea." She whispered, waving her over. Kushina whispered the idea into Sakura's ear, grinning the entire time.

The young girl's eyes lit up. "That is too good!"

Stuffing back giggles, the two dug through the kitchen for their tools before going their separate ways.

That morning, Minato, Naruto, and Sasuke woke up to the sound of giggling and wooden cooking spoons beating against metal pots.


	13. A Brother's Comfort

**Title:** A Brother's Comfort

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, the faces on Hokage Mountain would be colored. It would be called Naruto's Technicolor Dream Mountain.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** None

**Summary:** During a thunderstorm, a young Sasuke seeks out his older brother for protection.

**Author's Note:** Yay for Itachi being a good big brother behind Fugaku's back. :D

* * *

Another clap of thunder shook the house. Not long after, a bolt of lighting split through the sky.

Itachi moved over to one side of his bed. He knew that it would only be a matter of moments before his little brother came running down the hall to his room, seeking comfort from the storm.

Idly, Itachi wondered when Sasuke would grow out of this. Of course, his younger brother was only three years old, so it was expected that he'd be frightened of storms, but why did he come to Itachi's room instead of his parents?

_Father would send him away_. He answered his question immediately.

Itachi knew he shouldn't baby Sasuke, his father would not want it, but Sasuke was still just a child, he deserved to be babied some.

Itachi never received such treatment. His mother had often tried to treat him as the child he was, but his father would always undermine her efforts, treating him as if he were already a man.

Another clap of thunder. Sure enough, a soft, but frantic pitter-patter of footsteps was heard right before Itachi's bedroom door was slid open.

"Itachi?" Sasuke whispered.

Through the darkness, Itachi could see Sasuke clutching the blue stuffed cat that he'd gotten at the fair a few months ago. Itachi remembered the Hokage buying one for Sasuke and his two friends, Sakura and Naruto.

"Come on." He whispered, lifting up the covers.

Sasuke wasted no time crossing the floor and climbing into the bed with his older brother. "I'm scared." He whispered shakily as the sound of lighting echoed through the room.

"The storm will be over soon." Itachi whispered with a tired voice. "Go to sleep."

Smiling, Sasuke hugged his stuffed cat close and drifted to sleep.


	14. Bets

**Title:** Bets

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, Kakashi's handsome face wouldn't be hidden behind a mask. It would be on billboards. ;)

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Minato/Kushina, mentioned Naruto/Hinata

**Summary:** It's the day every parent dreams of. The day they get to tease their son about his first girlfriend.

**Author's Note:** Eh, kinda stupid but cute.

* * *

Minato struggled to balance all of the snacks in his hands as he walked down the hall. His sixteen-year-old son's door was open and, out of reflex, his head turned as he passed it.

Naruto was sitting on his bed, lacing up his shoes.

Minato stopped at the door, leaning in. "You going out?" His words were muffled by the Pocky stick hanging out of his mouth.

Naruto looked up. "Yea, I've got a date with Hinata."

Minato fought a smirk, knowing that his snack would fall out of his mouth if he did. "Again?" He mumbled.

Naruto made a face, mocking his father. "Yes again."

Minato quickly chomped down the Pocky stick so he could properly tease his son. "You've gone out with her at least twice a week for the past month. You like her?" He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

"Yes, I like her." Naruto mocked, moving his eyebrows in the same fashion.

The Hokage grinned. "Awww! Naruto's first girlfriend! And the Hyuuga heiress, too!"

"GIRLFRIEND!"

Naruto barely had time to react as his mother flew passed his father and pulled him into a bear hug. "My baby's got a girlfriend!"

"Mom!" He whined. He looked to his father for help. "Dad! Please!"

Minato grinned, shaking his head. Naruto was on his own with this.

Kushina pulled away, keeping her grip on his shoulders. "Now, honey, I know you've already had "the talk" but I just want to remind you to always use protection. You're too young right now to-"

Naruto's hands moved too fast for either of them to see. In the blink of an eye, Kushina went from holding on to her son to holding on to a puff of smoke.

Minato stared at his wife. "You just single-handedly became the most embarrassing mother in the history of ever."

She beamed. "Good. That means I won the bet with Tsunade."

He blinked. "What bet?"

"To be the most embarrassing mother in the history of ever."


	15. Dresses and Daddy

**Title:** Dresses and Daddy

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, we would know why in the world Rin has Band-Aides on her face. Is she trying to be like Nelly?

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Tsunade/Jiraiya, mentioned Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** Sakura goes wedding dress shopping with her parents.

**Author's Note:** If anybody recognizes the "got drunk and had sex" line, I stole it from _Friends_.

* * *

"How is it that you have the biggest boobs in Konoha, and I have absolutely no boobs?"

Tsunade shrugged, though her daughter couldn't see it. Sakura was in a changing stall of the wedding store, trying on a dress.

"I was flat-chested when I was young." Tsunade was reminded of all the times Jiraiya had called her flat-chested in their genin days. "Maybe Sasuke will get lucky and you'll inherit my boobs when you get older."

Sakura's shocked but smiling face peeked out over the top of the stall door. "I cannot believe you just said that!"

Tsunade was about to quip something back, but the door open and Sakura backed out, holding out the laces to the corset in one hand and the train of the gown in another hand.

"Tie me up." She ordered.

There was a loud banging outside the dressing room door. "Is everybody decent?"

"Yes, Daddy, come in!" Sakura yelled.

Tsunade gave a big tug, grunting as she tightened the laces.

"Good God, what are you doing to her, woman?" Jiraiya called, running to look over Tsunade's shoulder.

"It's called tying up a dress, stupid." She said with another heave. "Suck in." Tsunade ordered. "It'll give you more cleavage."

Jiraiya rolled his eyes skyward.

"I want to be able to breathe!" Sakura choked out.

Tsunade loosened it up a bit, tying a lazy bow at the bottom and letting the long ends hang down to the train. Reaching up, she clipped the neck halter together.

Laying her train down on the floor, Sakura spun around. "Well?"

Her parents took in a breath. Their daughter was absolutely stunning!

Tsunade smiled, slipping her hand into her husbands. "I'm so happy we got drunk and had sex that night!"

Sakura shook her head; this wasn't the first time she'd heard that one before. "You guys are so weird."

Jiraiya smiled, leaning down to give her a kiss on her forehead. "You look beautiful, sweetie."

"Thank you, Daddy."

Tsunade beamed, taking Sakura's hands into her own. "This thing is going to stay on you all of five minutes after the wedding! Sasuke won't be able to stand it!"

Jiraiya plugged his ears. "La la la! Not listening! Definitely not listening!"

Tsunade elbowed him. "Grow up, you big toad." Turning back to her daughter, she pushed her into the changing stall. "Now take that off! It does not need to get dirty. When you get out, we'll look for shoes and a veil. And don't forget we've still got to hit up the lingerie store."

"La la la! Not listening again!"


	16. Perverts in Tuxedos

**Title:** Perverts in Tuxedos

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, Bee's rapping would actually be _good_.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** Not trusting their sense of fashion, Sakura accompanies Sasuke and his groomsmen to the tuxedo store.

**Author's Note:** This one's always been one of my favorites. Not sure why. Maybe it's just because Naruto gets knocked out. That's always a riot. ;)

* * *

"Sakura-chan, why are you here again? Isn't this supposed to be like a guys-day-out?"

Sakura scoffed, walking into the tuxedo store with five guys around her. "Naruto, If I left everything up to you guys, you'd all come out with five different tuxedos. Probably five different colored tuxedos, at that."

"Sakura, we're not _that_ uncoordinated." Kakashi tried to defend himself, his face stuck in his beloved Icha Icha book.

The bell above the door rang as they entered. An elderly lady came out from the back room. "May I help you?"

Sakura took over, moving to shake the woman's hand. "Hi I'm Sakura Uchiha. I called earlier about the Uchiha wedding."

"Oh yes! We're all ready for you." She looked to the men. "Who's first?"

"Me!" Naruto called cheerfully, following the woman to the back to get measured.

As the men all began falling to chairs placed randomly around the room, Sakura started looking around at the designs.

Sasuke watched her as she walked around the store. He was surprised at his reaction when she'd said "Sakura Uchiha". It was the first time he'd heard her introduce herself with his name. He didn't think it was possible, but hearing that name slip from her lips made him love her even more.

The curtain opened and Naruto came out, a frown on his face.

"Next!" The woman yelled from the room.

Sighing, Itachi stood and walked back into the room.

"Why the long face, Naruto?" Kakashi asked as his former student practically fell into the seat Itachi just vacated.

"Kakashi-sensei…" he moaned, "I'm getting fat."

Sakura laughed from across the room. "Yea, getting a fat head."

A perverted grin spread across the blonde's face as he flicked his eyes from her to his groin.

Sasuke bristled. "She didn't mean _that_ head, dobe."

In a second, Sakura had crossed the floor and slung a chakra-filled fist across Naruto's head, knocking him unconscious. "Pervert!"

The curtain slipped open again and Itachi floated out. He raised a brow at Naruto, slung him out of the chair, and sat down with the unconscious boy at his feet.

The elderly woman stuck her head out. "Nex- Ooh! Is he okay?"

Sakura looked up, following the woman's gaze to Naruto. "Oh, he'll be fine. He takes hits to the head all the time." She reassured easily.

Kakashi decided that it was time for him to get measured before the woman asked any more questions and they got thrown out of the store.


	17. Never Too Old for Romance

**Title:** Never Too Old for Romance

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating**: K

**Disclaimer:** Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, Orochimaru's true identity would be revealed: Gene Simmons in pseudo-drag!

**Genre:** Romance

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Jiraiya/Tsunade

**Summary:** After a long day at work, Tsunade gets a romantic treat from her husband.

**Author's Note:** Ah, a fluffy little short with our favorite sannins. Well, my favorites, anyway. Orochimaru gives me nightmares.

* * *

Aching feet dragged against the streets of Konoha as the country's top medic made her way home.

Even in her exhausted state, Tsunade felt the familiar chakra following close behind her. She stopped and waited for him to catch up.

A large hand extended a big bouquet of white lilies in front of her. Gasping with delight at her favorite flowers, Tsunade brought the bouquet to her nose, taking in their sweet scent.

"You look like you've had a rough day." Her husband muttered beside her.

She let out something that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a scoff as he put his arm around her waist, walking with her back to their home. "Rough doesn't even begin to cover it." She began. "We had two ANBU teams come in that needed critical beds, but we had no beds vacant."

"Where did you put them?" Jiraiya asked.

"Stuck 'em on gurneys and threw 'um in the hallway."

He looked down at her as she smelled the flowers again. "How did you manage to escape?"

She chuckled. "Sakura came in and took over for me. When I left, she was purging the not-so-sick to make room for the half-dead."

He laughed heartily. "If there's any one person that can run that hospital as well as you, it's her. After all, you did train her."

Tsunade smiled, running her fingers over the waxy petals of the lilies. "Thank you for the flowers." She said after a moment.

He answered her by leaning down to kiss her forehead just under her hairline.

"You're an ass most of the time." She announced, much to his chagrin. "Which makes it even sweeter when you do something nice."


	18. The Uchihas

**Title:** The Uchihas

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ does not belong to me. If it did, Shikamaru would reveal how much hairspray he uses to get his ponytail to stand up like that.

**Genre:** General

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** As the head Uchiha family moves into their new homes, Sakura makes a worrying discovery about Itachi.

**Author's Note:** This was the original ending to the "Naruto Drabble Series", but, of course, the plot bunnies roped me into writing several more. :S

* * *

It was moving day at the Uchiha compound. The main house of the clan was in an upheaval; the former clan leader and matriarch were moving into a new home, the former heir was moving into his own house, and the newest head of the clan and his wife were moving into the main house.

Sakura felt that she stuck out like a sore thumb. Not only physically, her pink hair seemed brighter when put up against the black-haired Uchihas, but emotionally as well, she seemed to be the only one enjoying moving.

Well, her and Mikoto, that is, but the woman never really had fit into the Uchiha mold. She was too... bright for their serious ways.

The moving was conducted mostly in silence as the five of them weaved in and out of each other's way as they passed through the three houses. The two women would give a smile to whomever they walked by, easing the tense atmosphere somewhat.

With a huff, Sakura sat the last of her stuff in her and Sasuke's new bedroom. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she went out to help the others.

She saw Itachi carrying two boxfuls of items towards his new home. "Need some help, Itachi?" She called.

He stopped and looked over his shoulder at her. He gave a shrug that said "Do whatever you want".

She turned and headed down the hall towards his bedroom. All of his things were neatly boxed up and arranged in a meticulous order only akin to an Uchiha. Slinging a box under each arm, she headed out to the small house just to the left of her new home.

She met Itachi as he was coming out of his home.

"Where do you want these?" She asked, looking down at the boxes in her arms. When she looked back up, she almost dropped those boxes.

"Itachi! Your eyes!"

His hand flew up to brush away the blood leaking from his eyes. "It's nothing."

Sakura sat the boxes on the ground. "Bleeding eyes is not nothing!"

He frowned, crossing his arms in defiance of her words.

"Why are your eyes bleeding?" She pressed, even though she knew the answer. She just wanted him to own up to it.

Itachi said nothing.

Knowing she would never get him to admit to it, she gave up. "You had a mission, didn't you? You had a mission and you overused your Sharingan without coming to me for help."

His lips pursed into a guilty frown.

"You're such a man!" She hissed, tugging him towards the main house. "Sit." She ordered, practically pushing him down on the porch.

Itachi complied, but sulked like a little child as she assessed the damage.

"Holy Hokage, how long did you leave it on?" She muttered, seeing the damaged chakra channels.

"The whole mission." He muttered.

"Which was how long?"

"Three days."

Sakura ground her teeth in annoyance. "And do I even want to know how many times you used Mangekyo?"

He sighed. "Twice."

She slapped the back of his head.

"Oi! What are you two doing?" Sasuke called, ambling towards them. Fugaku was looking at them too, after hearing his youngest son's yell.

"This idiot here," Sakura pointed angrily at a scowling Itachi, "used his Sharingan for three days straight and didn't come to me after he got off of his mission!

"I give him his freakin' eyesight back and this is how he repays me: by eating up a quarter of his sight on one mission, and didn't tell me so I could fix it AGAIN!"

Mikoto leaned around the corner of the door behind Sakura and Itachi. "What's all the yelling about?"

"Your son is an idiot!" Sakura yelled.

Mikoto blinked. "Which one?"

Sakura huffed and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. "Right now, only Itachi, but the day's still young."

"Oi!" Sasuke protested.

Sakura ignored him, instead forcing healing chakra into her fingertips and into Itachi's eyes.

Fugaku stepped up beside Sasuke, watching Sakura with a wary eye. "What is she doing?"

"Healing his eyes." He answered.

"From what?"

"Sharingan overuse." Sakura answered, her eyes closed and a look of concentration on her face as she worked. "Using the Sharingan, and especially the Mangekyo Sharingan, forces too much chakra into your eyes at one time. Trying to get so much chakra in one spot so fast has torn his chakra channels to Hell and back and damaged the actual eye. It's damaged it so much that when his eyes are unaided by chakra, he's blind.

"What I do is heal the eye and the chakra channels so that he can not only use his Sharingan better, but can actually see his nose in front of him."

Fugaku gaped. "You…can do that?"

Sakura nodded.

The stoic former clan leader was clearly impressed.

Sasuke smirked smugly at his father's expression. It was about damn time Fugaku Uchiha realized how wonderful his daughter-in-law was.


	19. Caught In The Act

**Title:** Caught In The Act

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, we'd have more Team Minato flashbacks.

**Genre:** Romance, Humor

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** Jiraiya walks in on a private moment between his daughter and her boyfriend, and reacts like every overprotective father would.

**Author's Note:** Ah, Daddy!Mode Jiraiya. I lol'd.

* * *

Their forehead protectors were the first to go. They hit the floor with a _clank_ as frenzied hands made quick work of the knots that secured them on each other's heads.

Their clan shirts were next. The two symbols, Senju and Uchiha, once bitter enemies, laid side-by-side on her floor as the couple fell back onto the bed.

Sakura moaned as Sasuke's lips (and tongue! and teeth!) lavished attention on her neck. He smirked against her skin as her fingers ran over his back before dipping down into the waistband of his pants. Sakura's other hand threaded itself in his hair, pulling his face up from her neck for another kiss.

Sasuke's hands had snaked under her, ready to unclasp her bra when the bedroom door slammed open. Sasuke and Sakura untangled themselves from each other as Jiraiya's face slowly began to turn scarlet.

"Daddy, I-"

"Boy." He ground the word through his teeth. "I'm gonna give you a three-second head start. You better run for your life, because if I ever catch up with you, you ain't gonna have that life no more. One."

"Daddy!"

"Two."

Sasuke scrambled off the bed and made a b-line for the window, not even bothering to gather his scattered clothes. He had just pushed off of the roof when Jiraiya got to three.

"I'm having Uchiha for dinner tonight!" The sannin yelled out his war-call for all to hear as he chased the frightened, half-naked eighteen-year-old across the rooftops of Konoha.


	20. Sleepless Sleep Over

**Title:** Sleepless Sleep Over

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, this kind of Team Seven cuteness would have never been destroyed.

**Genre:** Humor

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** None

**Summary:** Trapped between Naruto and Sasuke, Sakura has some difficulty falling asleep.

**Author's Note:** If any of this seems familiar, it's because this drabble takes place the night before "Wake Up Call".

* * *

Sakura wasn't sure how much more her tiny ten-year-old body could handle. Then again, her current predicament was all her fault. She knew Naruto kicked when he slept! She knew it! But what did she do? She crawled into bed right next to him. And then stupid Sasuke had to fall asleep on her other side, trapping her next to Kangaroo Namikaze.

She winced as a particularly hard kick jabbed her leg. She tensed herself, ready for another, but it never came. She let out a quiet sigh of relief at the reprieve. Maybe now she could get some sleep-

Sasuke rolled over, unconsciously slinging his arm across her.

Sakura bit her lip to keep from crying out. She stared up at the ceiling, wondering just what she had done to make the kami hate her. The gods were out to get her, she just knew it. Why else would she be stuck with the two idiots beside her for best friends?

She exhaled softly through her nose and brought a tiny hand up to rub her eyes. One of her boys was going to have to wake up so she could get some sleep. She decided that Sasuke was the safest bet, so she tapped his arm softly.

"Sasuke." She whispered. She didn't have to talk loud since he was _right there_. "Sasuke, move over."

"Huh?" He mumbled, cracking one eye open. "What?"

"You're doing it again." She whispered, pushing his arm off of her. Once Sasuke realized what she was doing, he pulled his arm away and scooted over. Sakura moved too, thankful for the extra room away from Kangaroo.

"Sorry," he yawned, burrowing his face into the pillow. He was asleep in seconds.

Sakura grinned sleepily as she made herself comfortable. Now she could finally-

Naruto jerked, his foot connecting with her thigh.

Sasuke rolled towards her, his arm going right back across her stomach.

Sakura's palm connected with her forehead.


	21. Cleaning

**Title:** Cleaning

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, Kisame would bathe in lemon zest.

**Genre:** Humor

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Kakashi/Rin

**Summary:** While the Copy Cat Nin's away, the kunoichi will play! Or, er ...clean his filthy apartment.

**Author's Note:** ...I got nothing. Well, except for the _Glee_ version of "Like A Prayer" stuck in my head.

* * *

"Brace yourself, Sakura. What's behind this door is highly dangerous, lethal even. What we're about to do is something no woman has ever done before."

Sakura looked over at the older woman, a skeptical eyebrow cocked. "Rin, we're just cleaning Kakashi's apartment."

The brunette's eyes cut over to Sakura. "Clearly, you've never been inside his apartment before."

"Well, no, but it can't be that bad."

Rin scoffed. "Oh. It is _that_ bad." Fishing her key out from her pocket, she unlocked the door. She pulled up the paper mask that she had dangling from her neck and instructed Sakura to do the same before entering.

With some effort, the two women got the door open wide enough for them to snake through. Once inside, Rin expertly jumped from one empty spot on the floor to the next. Sakura, unfortunately, was new to the mess that was Kakashi's apartment, so she ended up inadvertently stepping on books, rotten food, dirty clothing, and other things she didn't want to think about.

"How does he live like this?" She cried. This one tiny apartment was messier than her whole house!

Rin ignored her outburst. She pulled a black trash bag and latex gloves from her pockets and began picking up the trash. "Sakura, why don't you pick up some of the clothes and throw them in a trash bag. We'll head down to the laundromat later so we can get them all washed before he gets back from his mission tomorrow."

Sakura could only mutely nod as she put on her own pair of latex gloves and began picking up her sensei's dirty laundry. As she tossed the tenth mask into the bag, she spotted something red and lacy under the desk. Grinning wickedly, though the paper mask hid it, Sakura picked it up and dangled it from her finger. "Missing something, Rin?"

The brunette looked up. She let out a small "eep!" as she snatched her bra out of Sakura's hands. She stuffed it down one of the pockets on her medical apron and went back to picking up her boyfriend's trash, blushing heavily.

"Missing something else?" Rin heard her cleaning companion ask after a few minutes.

Much to her embarrassment, Sakura dangled another of her bras from her fingers. Rin hurried to stuff that one in with the other. "I kept wondering where these things got off to."


	22. Hide and Seek

**Title:** Hide and Seek

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, Samui's hair would have a monument dedicated to it in every hidden village.

**Genre:** Humor

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Mentioned Sasuke/Sakura

**Summary:** Itachi enlists Sakura's help with the yearly game he plays with Sasuke for his little brother's birthday.

**Author's Note:** I've always thought this was kinda ItaSaku-ish, but I love that pairing so much, I can't help it if I write those two with a little chemistry. It may just be me reading too much into it, but still.

* * *

If you were of any importance to a member of the main family of the Uchiha clan, you were aware that every year, starting on July 1st, Itachi started to play his crazy little mind games on his little brother. All over Sasuke's birthday present.

They'd been doing this for years. Starting on the first of the month, Itachi would start dropping hints to Sasuke about what his aniki had gotten him and where he'd stashed it. When Sasuke was a child, Itachi had started it merely as a way to entertain himself and his little brother. He'd hide the present somewhere obvious, like a closet or the attic, but as the two got older, the hiding places, and the chases, became more involved.

For example, when Sasuke turned twelve, his birthday present was sitting all nice and neat and wrapped…in the middle of the Nara forest. And on his fifteenth birthday, Itachi had hidden the present inside Anko's desk in her office in the interrogation building. And when Sasuke was ten, he couldn't figure out his brother's riddles in time for his birthday, so Itachi wouldn't allow him to have his gift. Though, a suspiciously unmarked package did arrive on the Uchihas' front steps in mid-September.

This year, Itachi's hiding place was much simpler than the Nara forest, or a cupboard in the Akimichi household (a dangerous place to be, mind you). In light of the recent romance that had (finally!) been struck up between his otouto and his teammate, Itachi found himself inside Sakura's house, his keen eyes searching for the perfect place to keep his gift until the twenty-third.

Sakura, however aware of Itachi's little tricks, was not amused in the least when the Uchiha knocked on her door at six-freakin-AM and informed- not asked- informed her that he needed to hide something in her house before snaking his way into her home.

She'd pulled double shifts in the hospital yesterday, regrew two livers, mended eighteen broken bones, and came up with antidotes to two unknown poisons, and this jackass has the nerve to knock on her door at six-freakin-AM and then invite himself in?

"Itachi, your observation skills are second to none, am I correct?" She asked sweetly.

Itachi nodded, taking a severe interest in her bookshelves. Once he'd decided against the bookcase, he moved on to rake his Sharingan eyes up and down her living room. "You are correct."

"Then it's safe to say that when I answered the door, you noticed the dark circles under my eyes, and also how bloodshot they are due to lack of sleep. I am sure you also noticed that my chakra levels are dangerously low, and I'm nearing exhaustion. So, with all that in mind, I must ask you just what the hell you're doing in my house at such an ungodly hour." She would have been screaming by the time she finished if it didn't take so much energy.

"Do you know if your parents would have a problem holding Sasuke's present in their bedroom?"

"Damn it, Itachi!" She stomped out of the living room and down the hall towards her bedroom. She couldn't hear his footsteps as he followed her, but she knew he was right at her heels.

Stalking into her room, she pointed at a white dresser. "Do you see this? Do you see the top drawer?"

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

Sakura reached over and yanked the drawer open. It was filled to the brim with forehead protectors attached to ribbons of every color under the sun. Blues, yellows, oranges, pinks, browns, grays, whites, greens, reds, blacks- the last three having considerably more in number since she wore those more. If there was an outfit in Sakura Senju's wardrobe, it had a forehead protector to match it.

"Colorful." Itachi commented, a faint smirk lifting one edge of his mouth ever so slightly.

"It scares the shit out of Sasuke." Was her dry response. "He doesn't go near this drawer. Stick your present in here, and then get the hell out."

This time Itachi did smile as he pulled out a small, neatly wrapped box and hid it under the pink and gold forehead protectors. "Aren't we polite this morning?"

"Shut up."

He chuckled and closed the drawer. "Thank you, Sakura. You should get some rest. It's not safe to have your reserves that low."

She rolled her eyes. "What do you think I was doing before you showed up? Line dancing?"

He chuckled again, moving back through the house towards the door. "I do hope the next generation of Uchihas retain that…_winning_ Senju personality of yours, Sakura. I'm nearly giddy just thinking of the headache the clan elders will suffer."

Sakura rolled her eyes. _Oh yes, you look real giddy_. "Since I'm tired, I'm just gonna let that one go." She opened up the front door and waved her hand, gesturing that he go through it.

"Until next time then." He nodded to her.

"Which will be at the Team 7 practice field at noon tomorrow, so I can properly kick your ass for this." She was going to regret sparring with him tomorrow night after her mother mended her wounds, but practicing with him always made her reaction time quicker. And he needed to learn the repercussions for infringing on her sleep time.

Itachi's only reply was to laugh and tug on one of her pigtails as he left.


	23. Epiphany of the Copy Nin

**Title:** Epiphany of the Copy Nin

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, Obito would learn that those goggles aren't fashionable. Even Naruto dropped them, and he wears orange pants, FFS.

**Genre:** Romance

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** Kakashi/Rin

**Summary:** Near his birthday, Kakashi contemplates his relationship with Rin and comes to a life-chaning decison.

**Author's Note:** It's Obito! And, for the record Kakashi, 29 isn't all that old.

* * *

It was on a particularly clear and beautiful day in Konoha, after his morning spar with Obito, that Kakashi realized that he was getting old.

The epiphany came when he realized that next Tuesday would be his twenty-ninth birthday. Twenty-nine. Where did the time go? It felt like just yesterday when he was introduced to his own genin team.

But that wasn't yesterday. That time had passed, along with many other milestones since then in the Copy Nin's life: the end of the Ninja War, the beginning of his relationship with Rin, his acceptance into ANBU and later promotion to captain, and his first meeting with his genin team.

Thinking of his team made Kakashi feel even older. All three of his students were adults now, each busy with their own lives but still just as close as they were when they were twelve. Naruto was mastering the Sage arts from Jiraiya and well on his way to succeeding his father as Hokage; Sasuke was excelling in ANBU and whispered to soon become a captain of his own team; and Sakura was a co-director of the hospital and one of the best medics in the world, right next to her mother, Shizune, and Rin.

Rin. As usual, Kakashi's stray thoughts drifted to his girlfriend of nearly fifteen years.

_I'm nearly twenty-nine and I've been with Rin for fifteen years. That's over half of my life. _He thought, expertly tuning out whatever Obito was blabbering on about_. Most people would have been long since married by now._

The thought of marrying Rin wasn't a new one for Kakashi. He'd first entertained the idea when he was nineteen, but as soon as Kakashi had started getting ready to say good-bye to bachelorhood, he was promoted to ANBU captain and Rin was made a co-director of the hospital. With their lives growing more hectic by the day, a wedding was ruled out.

He'd tossed the idea around again some years later, but Rin seemed perfectly content with how things were. They practically lived together anyway, so how much different would it be to be married?

_Still, Kakashi, fifteen years is an awfully long time_. A voice, sounding suspiciously like his sensei's, echoed in his head. _Rin might not wait forever._

On that thought, one that scared the hell out of him, Kakashi stood.

Obito ceased whatever he was talking about- that crazy Itachi? Or was it that crazy Sasuke?- and stared up at his best friend. "What?"

"I need your opinion on something." Kakashi started walking towards the village, making Obito hurry to catch up.

"Oh yeah? What?"

"On which engagement ring Rin would like best."

As soon as the words left Kakashi's mouth, Obito stopped dead still. Kakashi walked on a few steps before turning around to face the Uchiha.

Obito was grinning wider than it should be physically possible for a human being or an Uchiha to do. And when the grinning mouth opened, it let out a yell that echoed throughout the training fields.

"IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!"


	24. The Mission

**Title:** The Mission

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, I'd have enough money to buy _General Hospital_, fire Bob Guza, and make that show _so. much. better._

**Genre:** General, Humor

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** None

**Summary:** Itachi gets assigned a special mission from the Hokage.

**Author's Note:** Next to last one, peeps.

* * *

He was the most skilled ninja in the entire village, third only to the sannin and the Hokage. He was only thirteen years old and already an ANBU captain. He was whispered about and feared by shinobi and civilian alike in every shinobi country under the sun. He received only the worst missions, ones that no one else could be able to handle.

It was for this reason that he had been called into the Hokage's office.

"Itachi, I have a mission for you. A mission of the utmost importance. A mission that only you can carry out." Minato paused, adding to the tension that was building in the room. "Your mission is to babysit for me."

Itachi lifted his head, not sure he had heard right. "I'm sorry, Hokage-sama, did you say you needed me to…babysit?"

Minato nodded gravely. "Yes, I'm afraid so. Kushina has gone to the hot springs with several of her friends, your mother included I believe, so I'm stuck with Naruto. And since I have numerous meetings today, I will be unable to give him the attention he needs. That is where you come in."

Itachi dropped his head back down. "Hokage-sama, I feel that I am severely overqualified for this mission."

"Overqualified? It's S-Ranked!" Minato seemed affronted.

Itachi lifted his head again. "Forgive me, sir, but I fail to see how babysitting and guarding the Hokage's son qualifies as an S-Ranked mission." Guarding missions were usually jobs given to genin and chunin, and only a B-Rank, at most. Yet the Hokage sits and tries to assign one to an ANBU captain?

"Not just the Hokage's son, Itachi. The daughter of the sannin, and your little brother as well. You know those three are like a package deal." After Itachi said nothing, Minato leaned over the desk, his handsome face desperate. "Look, kid, my wife's gone for a week and today is the only day that I've got a full schedule. All you have to do is pick them up from the academy and entertain them until I get off tonight. _Please_."

Itachi wasn't entirely sure why Minato was begging. He was the Hokage and he was assigning a mission; begging was not necessary. Besides, it wasn't like he was asking Itachi to go off on a suicide mission; it was babysitting for kami's sake! He was even babysitting the three kids he always watched over, not some random stranger's brats!

But this time he was getting paid for it…

"Hokage-sama, I accept this mission."


	25. Actual Training

**Title:** Actual Training

**Author:** kimbo-smarties

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, I'd have better things to do than come up with "What Ifs" for this disclaimer line.

**Genre:** Kiddie Fluffy Cuteness (Yes, that is a genre.)

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Ship:** None

**Summary:** While babysitting for the Hokage, Itachi, in his own _special_ way, helps the Not-Quite-Yet Team Seven train.

**Author's Note:** Follow-up to 'The Mission'.

* * *

Things were so much easier when the only things Itachi had to duck and dodge were mud pies and stuffed animals. Now, he's constantly evading kunai and shuriken coming from all directions, thrown by eight-year-old academy students trying to get the best of the great Itachi Uchiha.

Which would never happen, of course, but the children's persistence was cute (but becoming more and more annoying, Itachi decided as he caught another of Naruto's kunai and threw it back, skimming a few of the boy's blonde hairs.)

"You're not very quiet, Sakura." He said, bursting the girl's bubble. She had thought she was being silent and stealthy while trying to sneak up on the Uchiha heir. Apparently, though, she wasn't doing a good job. With a small huff of frustration, she sunk back into the darkness of the woods that surrounded one of the Uchiha clan training fields to regroup and try again.

Itachi heard the familiar hum of a kunai cutting across the air yet again. Without looking up from the scroll he was reading, he caught it one-handed and tossed it back to his little brother. He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in slight disappointment; hadn't he taught Sasuke to conceal his chakra better than that?

"Itachi-nii!" A pink head popped out of the woods. "Why won't you help us train?"

"I am." The thirteen-year-old swiftly deflected a shuriken using his ANBU-issued arm guards.

"No, you're not!" Sakura protested, stomping out of the coverage of the trees. "You're just sitting there reading your stupid scroll! You're not even looking at us!"

Itachi didn't spare her a glance. "I do not have to look up from my scroll to know where all three of you are and what your plan of attack is. For instance, Sasuke is hiding behind a tree thirty feet to my left, and he is pulling a kunai from his pouch. Naruto is twenty-three feet to my immediate right and is clicking two shuriken together."

Sakura looked from right to left, trying to pick out her friends. "How do you know that?"

This time, Itachi did look up, giving the girl a flat, bored look. "Because they're loud." She opened her mouth to protest, but he went on. "But it is to be expected. You're just academy students. You're not meant to be very good at the ninja arts just yet."

Huffing with anger, the eight-year-old stomped over and, just barely, stood over the ANBU resting against the tree trunk. "Well, we might be better at the _ninja arts_," she went out of her way to mock him, "if _someone_ would quit being as lazy as Shikamaru and _help us_! We want some actual training, right guys?"

There was a dual echo of "Right!" from the trees.

Itachi smirked with amusement. He wasn't sure which one was worse: his little brother and his budding Uchiha attitude, Naruto and his loud- _loud_- excitement for all things shinobi, or Sakura and her impatient need to learn coupled with a fury she inherited from her mother.

With a small sigh of surrender, he sat aside his scroll and stood with a liquid grace achieved only by experienced ninja. "Actual training, huh? Just what exactly does that entail?"

* * *

And so ends the 'Naruto Drabble Series'! Thanks _so_ much to everyone who reads, reviews, follows, favorites, supports, etc. All of these drabbles are 1-2 years old, but posting them here on and letting them get out to a broader and different audience has reminded me of exactly why I loved them, and the Naruto fandom- crazy shipping wars and all- in the first place! :D So, again, thank you.

Oh, and review.


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